The Ugly.....

I'm not afraid to lie, and do so if it benefits me....though getting caught in a lie creates some hesitation and a bit of fear (depending on who is doing the catching). Example – I've killed off family members to miss work for 'funerals'.

I hate weakness and often catch myself not feeling pity for someone, but disgust if that person is displaying weakness that I would conciser ridiculous. Many times I have to bite my tongue, cloak my energy, and hide my expressions with a stoic face. If I can/have done it, or can suffer through it without compliant, or control my health and psychology with not but my will of mind – then by damned everyone can, right? Pussies.

I can never progress fast enough and am eternally impatient.

Though I want to get ghost sight back and be able to communicate again with spirits on the physical realm, I fear that my rational mind will not handle it. I wonder if my conscientiousness will decide that it is crazy, or other. Once that flood gate is open, it can't be closed except with years of therapy and massive amounts of drugs (shudder with repulsion).

I don't have time for stupidity and find myself very impatient with the retarded.  Which I think there are entirely too much of.  The gene pool definitely could use some chlorination.  Especially if they are in a car...all bad drivers should get the fuck off the road and out of my way.  The very least they could do is acknowledge that they can see me flipping them off.

I call everything as it is to me. Regardless if it hurts the feelings (again weakness) of those around me or the receiver of said opinion doesn't want to hear it (even if said opinion is truth).

My mind can go from Zen calm to irritated don't give a flying fuck in .035 seconds.

I make small careless mistakes. I HATE that. You know the ones --- where you send an email without

the attachment or some other such little really stupid thing. I REALLY fucking hate that.....but laugh at the fucker that does it using them as a way to make me feel better "at least I'm not the only douche bag".

Some people that I really don't care for and wouldn't be heart broken if they suddenly croaked off (I mean learned all they were going to learn here and moved on). It gets worse. These people, well, sometimes I experience satisfaction if they are miserable or suffering from a bad fate of some sort. I've often thought that if I had the energy or could work up a bit of hate, I would throw out a curse here and there. Hate – nope. Never experienced it. I don't think this is evil, but it might be ugly.

I question everything.

My tits are too small, I have cottage cheese fat in places, puffy black bags under my eyes and you can see all the veins through my thin skin.

...Well....Wasn't that fun?