The 12 days of Yule

December 25, 1997
Dearest Bob,
I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in pear tree. What a thoroughly delightful gift. I couldn't have been more surprised.
With deepest love and affection,
Violet

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December 26,1997
Dearest Bob,
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine - two turtle doves!! I'm delighted at your very Thoughtful gift. They are just too adorable.
My everlasting love,
Violet

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December 27, 1997
My dear Bob,
Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one! Now I actually must protest. I don't deserve such generosity - three French hens! They are just darling, but I must insist - -you've been too, too kind.
All my love,
Violet

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December 28, 1997
My dear Bob,
Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now, really, they ARE beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough? You are just being Too romantic.
Love,
Violet

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December 29, 1997
Dear Bob,
What a marvelous surprise! Today the postman delivered five gold rings, one for every finger. You're just impossible, but I love it. To tell you the truth, all these lovely birds can really squawk and are getting on my nerves.
Affectionately,
Violet

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December 30, 1997
Bob,
Today the postman knocked and ran. When I opened the door, there were actually six geese-a-laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again. Those geese are huge. Where in the name of creation will I ever keep them? The neighbors are complaining, rightly so, and it is impossible to sleep through the racket.
Now let this be the end of this.
Cordially,
Violet

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December 31, 1997
Bob:
What the hell's with you and these fucking birds? Seven swans-a-swimming? What kind of goddamn joke is this? There's bird shit all over the house and they never stop with the racket. I can't get a damn bit of sleep and I'm a nervous wreck. Stop with this sadistic nonsense.
This is not funny and I am very unhappy.
Sincerely,
Violet

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January 1, 1998
O.K., Pal!
What in the screaming hell am I going to do with eight maids-a-milking? Jesus! I think I prefer the goddamn birds. The goddamn maids-a-milking had to bring their goddamn cows. There is cow shit all over my lawn and bird shit all over the house. I can't even move my feet. Just leave me the hell alone, smartass.
Vi

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January 2, 1998
Listen, Shithead!
You sadistic bastard! I now have nine pipers piping in my front yard and they are standing knee deep in cow shit. This, after chasing those maids all night long. Consequently, upsetting the cows to the point that they are stepping all over the screeching birds. What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to evict me.
Up yours,
Vi

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January 3, 1998
You rotten PRICK!
Now there's ten ladies dancing. I don't know why I call those sluts ladies. They've been balling those pipers all night long. Now the goddamn cows can't sleep and they've got diarrhea. My living room is a river of shit. The Commissioner of Zoning and the Building Inspector have subpoenaed me to give just cause as to why this building should not be condemned. I'm calling the police! I mean it, by God!

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January 4, 1998
Listen, FUCKHEAD:
Never in my wildest imagination did I ever think that I would be witness to eleven Lords-a-leaping on that many maids and ladies. They took those broads like Grant took Richmond and many will never walk exactly right again. I wasn't the only witness, by the way. The "60 Minutes" camera crew and staff are just loading up their cameras and equipment on a chartered plane and are racing against time to have the first Christmas Special on Pay TV. For the record, all 23 of the birds are dead. They were trampled to death in the orgy. As God is my witness, some how, some day, I'LL GET YOU! I never want to see your fucking face again as long as I live.
Miss Violet Monica Habersham

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January 5, 1998
Law Offices
Goldstien, Silverberg, and O'Reily
Dear Sir:
This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve drummers drumming, which you have seen fit to inflict upon our client, Miss Violet Monica Habersham. The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondence should come to our attention. If you should attempt to reach Miss Habersham at the West County Sanitarium, the attendants have been instructed to shoot you on sight! With this letter please find attached, a warrant for your arrest.
Sincerely,
Anthony Gionetti
Associate

Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged

RANT TIME!! I got in my Jeep like any other day. I turned on my defrost like any other day. I turn on the radio to 104.9 and crank it like anyother day and I hear.....DEF LEPARD??? What the FUCK?!!? OK. Fuck!! Just fuck! Is it April fool's? Nope, November (April is a fool, but....) Four days ago they took the only heavy metal station off Seattle radio. MY STATION. Damnit. I LIVED that station. The Funkey Monkey (love the name) is now gone and I have to either buy decent music or wait until Midnight on Saturday night to hear good, new metal...and you know that any good witch is at ritual for some reason or another on Saturday night...... ;) No more commercial-free, head-banging, get-geared-to-kick-employee-ass music. They fucking replace it with hair-bands!!!! SLAP!! What could be worse, right?


This morning my alarm clock radio was playing 24 HOUR CHRISTMAS MUSIC UNTIL THE FUCKING 25TH!!!! crap. So had to dig deep and really look at myself and all the....anger...*snort. So.... enjoy the list below....Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged:


Schizophrenia - Do You Hear What I Hear?
Amnesia - I Don't Know if I'll be Home for Christmas
Multiple Personality Disorder - We Three Queens Disoriented Are
Dementia - I Think I'll be Home for Christmas
Narcissistic - Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me!
Manic - Deck the Halls & Walls & House & Lawn & Streets & Stores & Office & Town & Cars & Busses & Trucks & trees & Fire Hydrants and...
Paranoid - Santa Claus is Coming to Get me!
Borderline Personality Disorder - Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
Personality Disorder - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell You Why
Tourette's Syndrome - Chestnuts...FUCK YOU! ...roasting on...BITE ME! an open fire...ASSHOLE!
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder -Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...
Agoraphobia - I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House
Autistic - Jingle Bell Rock and Rock and Rock and Rock
Senile Dementia - Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House In My Slippers and Robe
Oppositional Defiant Disorder - I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House
Social Anxiety Disorder - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate

Jo Lynn and Summer....practice this spell...we need to have it down!

The Spell of Traveling to British Isles

Upon 40 days of Prayre and Fasting, with Purest Faithe and Calling unto the Gods...
I. Clasp near thy rod of power (a.k.a. a telephone)
II. Call forth for ye Spirits of Travelle and theire nefarious Agents
III. Yea, state and visualize thy destination --thrice, for the Agents of Travel to Comprhende Thee...
IV. Yea, Task them and overcome them in Ye Test of Wills
V. SPEAKE THE WORDS OF POWER: VISA, MASTERCARD, AMEX
VI. Two weeks hence, take ye under New Moon to Clearing of the Travel
VII. Present Thyself in Trembling and Loathing to the Guardians of the Towers of the North, East, South and West and Present to them the holy scroll of the High Priestess: TICKET
VIII. Pass ye surely through the Elemental Detector and its "Ever Alert" guardians of Thy Safety (But not Thy Rights)
IX. Wait Until the Stars show, the wind blows and the new grass grows
X. When your Gryphon of Metal arriveth (and, ha, craven fool, it arriveth not when ye expect but only upon the winged beast's good and fickle pleasure), board it and fly away.

LOKI LOVES ME

For all you Asatru fans this is a kick in the pants.  Sung to the classic Jesus Loves You tune.  No I didn't post it because I hate Christians (never did never will).  I just thought it was funny!  Get fucking over it....

Loki loves me this I know,
For last night he told me so.
Little minions march along,
Drive you crazy with this song.

Chorus:
   Yes, Loki loves me
   Yes, Loki loves me
   Yes, Loki loves me
   Last night he told me so

In the circle I did say
Loki send some luck my way
Great big smile all I did see
He said he'd come visit me

Monday morning, I woke up
Found piss in my coffee cup
Dung upon the kitchen floor
Slipped on it right through the door

Tuesday morning I arose
Found matchsticks between my toes
Loki's smile was nice and bright
"Hey there bud, you got a light?"

Wednesday when I went to work
Loki in my office lurked
Heard my secretary scream
"Oh, my GOD that's so obscene!"

Thursday morn, when I was gone
Loki mowed the neighbor's lawn
Even though the job was free
I found out he's sueing me

Friday when my grandma came
I though I would go insane
Found her tied up to my bed
Great big smile and damn near dead!

Saturday I went to lunch
With that same ol' black tie bunch
Loki came with as my guest
Insulted most and f**ked the rest

Sunday morn, a peaceful dawn
I looked around, was Loki gone?
A note upon my kitchen door
Read "Buy more beer, I'll go get Thor!"

Polytheist Creation Story

Original speech by Barry Marin (PanThea 2002) and one of my very favorites of all time.

Well, Yes. I became a polytheist because I have a scientific mind. I looked at the evidence: Teats on men. Nose hair. EAR hair! The Krebs cycle. This body has all the earmarks of something designed by a COMMITTEE!

And I know women were involved. Because, let's face it: If a MAN had invented MEN, my balls would not be where they are. They'd be in my chest, or my skull, somewhere SAFE.

My real problem is that they let the trickster Gods into it. Like farting. You KNOW farting was Pan's idea. It's just exactly his style.

I can just picture the animal design committee in my mind. There's Hermes in the corner, making insect after insect after insect. They're small, they fly, they're annoying. Perfect!

So Artemis wanted something to hunt them: invented the Wren. Aphrodite didn't think that was pretty enough: invented the Bluebird. Ares thought that was too tame: made the Hawk. Zeus thought that was too small: invented the Falcon. Poseidon had to top that: created the Eagle. Athena put her twist on the idea: invented the Owl. Hera wanted something more practical: invented the Chicken. That was too ugly for Aphrodite: made the Peacock. Zeus wanted bigger chickens: created the Turkey. And Bacchus chimed in: "Ok, ok! It's a chicken. A BIG chicken! A REALLY big chicken! And it's got a looonnngg neck!" 

"Looks too big to fly, Bacchus." 

"It don't fly, it runs really fast!"

"That's nice, Bacchus."

So then, we know Poseidon created the Horse. Aphrodite didn't think that was pretty enough: made the Gazelle. Hera wanted something more practical again: created the Cow. Zeus made it bigger: invented the Ox. Poseidon had to top THAT: invented the Elephant. Cows weren't fierce enough for Ares: made the Leopard. Which Zeus wanted bigger: created the Lion. which now Artemis had to top: invented the tiger. And Bacchus: "Right! So it's a horse, a BIG horse! And it's got a looonnngg neck; And ORANGE POLKA DOTS!"

"That's nice, Bacchus."

And it went on.

Athena made Fish for Poseidon. Zeus made them bigger: created Whales. Poseidon returned the favor: invented Rabbits for Athena's Owls. Aphrodite wanted them softer: made Chinchillas. And, of course, Bacchus: "Ok, So; it's a looonnngg neck!" 

"How many feet does it have, Bacchus?"

"It's got no feet! It's just a loooonnng neck. Slithering on the ground!"

"That's nice, Bacchus."

And so it went.

If you listen carefully and observe the world around you, you begin to hear the music of creation. And it's not the monotone, monotonous march of a monotheistic Deity. What single God would bother to invent 9000 different kinds of Frog? No, that music is Jazz! One idea bouncing off another, and taking off in a new direction. Riffs; and variations on themes, and variations of the variations. Obviously a group effort! Until finally, Bacchus, from deep in his cups: "Platypus!"

THAT'S NICE BACCHUS."

Football: Christians VS Pagan

OK.  I couldn't help it.  With all the ruckus over I'm right and You're wrong fueling a never-ending (ho hum) debate, I found the following and laughed my ass off.  Unfortuanlly there was not an author that I could find...so this is lovingly plagiarized.

Heard one night on Between the Worlds Radio, WIKA...

Bob: For those of you who have just joined us, this has been one hell of a game! The Salem Witches, led by the ferocious play of Sven Gahrinnson, a huge Asatru defensive end, have taken a 21-14 lead over the Bethany  Baptists.

Sam: That's right, Bob. Sven's a force, but Bethany's quarterback Paul Damascus has been throwing passes with all the zeal of an evangelist passing out tracts on Judgement Day. Leading the Baptists' Fire and Brimstone offense, Damascus has been burning the Witches' secondary all evening.

Bob: Sam, now that was uncalled for...

Sam: Hey, if the Witches hadn't put a spell on the referees they wouldn't even be in this game!

Bob: And if the Baptists hadn't soaked the field with holy water, the Witches would still be able to use their running game, not to mention the third degree burns that Salem's tight end received.

Sam: His name was Vlad! I'll bet he wasn't only a witch but a…

Bob: Don't say it!

Sam: But the Bible says...

Bob: SAM! Let's return to the action on the field.

Sam: [mumbling] Well it does...

Bob: Salem's just about to kick off with 2:35 left in the fourth quarter. JohnPaul is on his own five yard line to receive for the Baptists. Here's the kick... It's a beauty! Just look at the hang time!

Sam: I'd look for a penalty on that kick. Illegal summoning of air elementals, I would think.

Bob: JohnPaul takes the kick... he's on the ten... the fifteen... WOW! WHAT A HIT!! Sven just leveled JohnPaul! I'm amazed Bethany's return man could even hold on to the ball. Uh oh... JohnPaul's not moving. The trainers are coming out to the field.

Sam: [chanting gleefully] Threefold law! Threefold law! Sven's going to pay! He meant to hit him hard.

Bob: Sam, this is football! You're supposed to hit them hard. Besides, Sven's not Wiccan, he's Asatru!

Sam: [mumbling] Well, they're all going to burn in hell. They aren't Christian, after all. The Bible says --

Bob: [cutting off Sam] It looks like JohnPaul's going to be okay. He may not know what time zone he's in after that hit, but at least he's on his feet. The Witches' defense takes the field. Sven holds down the left side while Gavin Lord leads Salem's Wild Hunt defense. Listen to them howl! The Witches' fans are going wild, the pep band is leading a spiral dance while the cheerleaders are drawing down the moon. I can't imagine how Bethany can even hear the count over all this noise! Here's the snap. Damascus drops back. Here comes Sven! Damascus is scrambling, chased by the Wild Hunt. He has nowhere to run, not with the Hunt on his heels. Damascus throws the ball away, stopping the clock with 2:08 left to play.

Sam: There's a flag on the play. I'll bet it's against the Witches

Bob: My guess is holding on the offense, Sam. 

Sam: Yeah, right. You're just saying that 'cause you don't want the Baptists to win.

Bob: No, I'm saying that because one of Bethany's offensive linemen is still holding someone's kilt!

Sam: They should call that a foul. After all, the Bible says --

Bob: [cutting Sam off again] The refs have marked off the penalty and the players are lining up again. Damascus is calling the signals. Here's the snap. He drops back and throws. It's caught by Moses at the 30 and he's brought down immediately. That's going to bring up the two minute warning.

Sam: Let's break for a word from our sponsor, New Jerusalem Witnessing Tracts.

Bob: Let's not. We're back! The word on JohnPaul's injury is either a slight concussion or demon possession. The team is calling in a specialist from the Vatican to be sure. It seems that Sven hit him hard enough that the Bethany return man thinks he's in a past life. He keeps saying, I was really just kidding. I like lions. Really. Good kitty! There's 1:58 left on the game clock and from the look of things on the field, I think that Bethany's starting to panic.

Sam: Why do you say that?

Bob: Because it looks like they're going for the Hail Mary play.

Sam: And why do you say that?

Bob: Just listen to the Baptists' fans.

Fans: Hail Mary, Mother of God... Hail Mary, Mother of God...

Bob: Here's the snap. Damascus drops back... he's under pressure... Damascus scrambles to the right, looking for an open receiver... he reverses the field, running to the left... Sven is right on his heals... He throws... Touchdown!! What an immaculate reception! Touchdown Bethany!

Sam: Yes! Yes! YES!!!

Bob: Let's be a little objective here...

Sam: Time to make those sinners pay!

Bob: Bethany's going for the two point conversion. The Wild Hunt is growling, you can hear it even over the roar of the crowd. This could be the game right here, folks. The Baptists are pulling out all the stops. I think that's even the Ark of the Covenant that they're parading over there. Here's the snap... It's a quarterback sneak! Damascus dives into the heart of the Wild Hunt! Look at that pile! Damascus is somewhere at the bottom. It's going to be a moment before they sort this one out, folks. One of the Baptists is in Sven's face. Uh oh... I think he's witnessing to the Asatru. Yep! There's the flag! That'll be unsportsmanlike conduct on Bethany. Fifteen yards off the kick off. It looks like the Baptists have made the conversion! Bethany leads 22 to 21.

Sam: That's not the only thing they converted. It looks like Sven is headed back to Bethany's sideline.

Bob: No! Sven! You're a warrior! Come back! Come back!

Sam: Oh... is da widdle asatwoo a kwistjun now?

Bob: [ignoring Sam] Fourth quarter... 1:22 left on the clock. Bethany sends a deep booming kick into Salem's end zone. Wait... who is that returning the kick? Long hair... curves... It's Artemis! Those Bethany defenders don't know who they have coming at them!

Sam: If she turns anyone into a stag and they don't call a penalty, I'll protest!

Bob: Artemis fields the ball deep in her own end zone. She's bringing it out! She's at the five, at the ten... breaks a tackle… to the fifteen, the twenty... she's on the sideline with room to run... Does anyone hear trumpets? Are those angels over there? OHMIGOD WHAT WAS THAT FLASH OF LIGHT?!?!??!

Sam: Where did all of Bethany's players go? Where are their fans?

Bob: Looks like its the Rapture... Artemis is left with a field empty of defenders... She's at the fifty... the forty... the twenty...Touchdown!! Salem's ahead by five with Bethany nowhere in sight!

Sam: Judgement Day... It can't be Judgement Day...

Bob: Looks like the refs are talking this one over. The clock is stopped with fifty-eight seconds left to play. The Bethany Baptists are nowhere in sight and the Salem Witches lead 27 - 22. Here's the official 
ruling...That's game! The Bethany Baptists forfeit the game and the Salem Witches win, 27 - 22!

Sam: [still bemoaning his fate] Judgement Day... It was Judgement Day and no one came to get me! It can't be Judgement Day! Why? Why, Bob? Why?

Bob: Don't know, Sam. It's your system of belief, not mine. You're welcome to hang out with us Pagans.

Sam: Dear GOD! It was Judgement Day and they sent me to Hell! This is Hell, isn't it Bob?

Bob: [thinking of being the only Pagan that Sam knows] Only for me, Sam. Only for me.

All due to a Dalai Lama quote....

WARNING:  side effects to many Christians are heart palpitations, hyperventilation, bleeding eyes, bleeding ears if read aloud, anger, sudden impulse to show all those nasty people the ONLY WAY -- Christ Jesus, Lord and Savior, prayer and forgiveness for said nasty people.  Read at your own risk.

Christianity is not a gentle religion. Not to mention the books are all very....violent...interesting, but violent. Leviticus reads like a cookbook when it comes to offerings; the next books read of war (which many of the tactics used in the Bible are used to this day in our war tactics); God gets pissed and kills every one in a flood (by the way in EVERY cultural myth - before Christ's coming). Old Testament is violent and the ways were different...more...pagan. But it is OK and all explained away, because the prophet Jesus Christ sacrificed himself on the cross (which too is in MANY cultural myths - before Christ's coming)....such is the differences between the two testaments. Of course it focuses on the brutal punishment that Jesus suffered, but didn't touch at how Christians persecuted other pagans in that era. “You are fucking wrong!.....And I will torture you for it!”.....how.....primitive. They were both wrong. Anger bred hatred which bred death which was excused by the name of one God or another. That is wrong no matter which God you kill for. Christians did it to Pagans, Pagans did it back to Christians, Christians did it back to Pagans....history shall wheel itself..... We are still at it, my friends. Such is the way of life...is the way of nature.

What I never agreed with was the negative force that Christian portrays when “preaching”. You MUST believe that Jesus Christ is your Lord and Savior or burn for eternity in a lake of fire....But Wait! What about God? Jesus is only a SON of God...NOT God. Why would ANYONE have to believe in a son in order to be saved by GOD? Well, unbeliever, God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are different, but are one and the same....like an egg has three parts, shell, yoke, white, but it is still an egg..... Holy bird-shit Robin!....sounds a lot Pagan! Unbeliever, Christ died for your sins as that you many now have a chance at heaven not hell....sacrificing himself....with much human emotion.

Another point – Christianity is a NEW religion (regardless as to what their followers will say). All that is within the myths had already been reflected in other cultures. However, Christianity holds one champion over all others – blood. It is the MOST bloody religion on Earth (yup including all those nasty Pagan sacrifices). Christians are fueled to “turn” everyone....regardless if they must burn them at the stake, shoot them with a gun, or visit your porch step and shove it down your throat. So...killing is OK if done in the name of Jesus. Don't believe me? Read above....view point forced down throats in a negative manner.... Sigh

Christians have Pagan DNA ---
Candles:

For mystical reasons the Church prescribes that the candles used at Mass and at other liturgical functions be made of beeswax (luminaria cerea. — Missale Rom., De Defectibus, X, I; Cong. Sac. Rites, 4 September, 1875). The pure wax extracted by bees from flowers symbolizes the pure flesh of Christ received from His Virgin Mother, the wick signifies the soul of Christ, and the flame represents His divinity. Although the two latter properties are found in all kinds of candles, the first is proper of beeswax candles only. It is, however, not necessary that they be made of beeswax without any admixture. The paschal candle and the two candlesex cera apum saltem in maxima parte, but the other candles in majori vel notabili quantitate ex eadem cera (Cong. Sac. Rit., 14 December, 1904). Son of a ….... this is starting to read like my Book of Shadows. Dudes, don't even try. Candles are used by more Christian faiths than just Catholicism – light of Christ, Don't hid it under a bush – oh, no! (those of you who have done the whole Sunday School thing know exactly what I mean).

Incense:

Incense, with its sweet-smelling perfume and high-ascending smoke, is typical of the good Christian's, which, enkindled in the heart by the fire of God's love and exhaling the odour of Christ, rises up a pleasing offering in His sight (cf. Amalarius, "De eccles. officiis" in P.L., CV). Incensing is the act of imparting the odour of incense. The censer is held in the right hand at the height of the breast, and grasped by the chain near the cover; the left hand, holding the top of the chain, is placed on the breast. The censer is then raised upwards to the height of the eyes, given an outward motion and slightly ascending towards the object to be incensed, and at once brought back to the starting point. This constitutes a single swing. For a double swing the outward motion should be repeated, the second movement being more pronounced than the first. The dignity of the person or thing will determine whether the swing is to be single or double, and also whether one swing or more are to be given....crap...they'd have to swing it like a helicopter propeller for me. ;) Again, not just the Catholic branch uses incense. Psalm 141 (140), verse 2: "Let my prayer be directed as incense in thy sight: the lifting up of my hands, as evening sacrifice." Yeah, before you try, it is in the New Testament as the "golden bowl full of incense" are "the prayers of the saints" (Revelation 5:8, cf. Revelation 8:3) which infuse upwards towards the altar of God.

Saints:

First off Pagan Gods and Goddesses became Saints. There are too many for me to get into here, but if wanted can on a different post. Yeah, I have a section much like this in my Book of Shadows too. It's called DemiGods.

Jesus:

Man, I don't even know where to start with this one. The virgin birth, the birth witnesses and gifts, the healing and other miricals, his minastry, the fishing, the last supper, the arrest, the crusificion and the reserection all in ancient religions before Christianity. He is part of the Holy Trinity (yup, Pagan, you know what that is). There are many more, but I've lost interest.  If you want more, it can be posted later.

Mother Mary:

This is another big one that has too many facets to describe now. Just like the Saints he sits a seat in the Catholic and Christian church and the “mother” (Juno, Athor, Hestia, Virgo Diepara....etc depending on the area/culture. Pagans have no problems seeing this for what it is – classic Idology.

Christan Holidays:

Christmas, Easter – must we really? These history examples are easy enough to find. Basis – Tree, songs, gifts, light, greenery...all pagan. Jesus was not born in December, blah, blah, blah. Basis – hare, eggs, colored hidden eggs, hot cross buns. Yaddah, yaddah, yaddah.

Holy Communion:

It was a tradition of eating and drinking the body and blood of a holy man god who died for the sake and sins of mankind. The Christians were not the first ones to do the holy communion. It was actually the Roman pagan followers of the Roman god Bacchus. You really should see the face of the Christian when you tell them it originated with the god of wine and beer and earthly pleasures....priceless.


 They didn't come up with anything new that the other religions followed, -- only forced-will on others and an attempted monotheism (see below for explanation of attempted). Of course when you state such, Christians deny it...then pray for you...or negatively force their view down your throat. Organized religion is just plain dangerous....and causes those to miss the point of religion in the first place. Getting wrapped up about “I'm right and You're wrong” is NOT the point. It is the internal development of a person – morals, ethics, faith, values, spirit, etc, etc, etc. It is but the individual that must deal with what is, what should be, and what will become. It is NOT the right for ALL to play the shepherd when they are too but sheep.

Claiming Monotheism is actually harder than the Christian faith would want you to believe. Monotheism is the belief in one God. not plurality of the divine. Hmmm....the Trinity, in which God is one being in three eternal persons (the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit)...not Monotheism. Additionally, most Christian churches teach Jesus to be two natures (divine and human), each possessing the full attributes of that nature, without mixture or intermingling of those attributes...not Monotheism Not to mention that God refers to himself as plural – Us, We. Not until Isaiah is it understand that HE is the first, last and there are no other gods but Him. This is so shot full of holes, it's not even fun any more.

Warm Weather Crazies

We had unbelievable weather this last week. All week we ranged in the 70s. Can you believe it that we laid about 80 tons of asphalt in NOVEMBER!! November in Washington is the wettest month of the year. That is saying something we get over a 100 inches of rain a year over here. The whole state gets an average of 27 inches – but all of the east side of Washington never gets rain. Needless to say, it is odd weather.

This odd weather brings out the crazies. A routine stop at the gas station was even weird. At work not far from the job site I stop to gas up the jeep. I jump out and across the gas pump is an older man (late 50s) gassing up his van. This black dude was in too good of mood. You know those people that are so happy that you just want to slap the shit out of them and say “Quit fucking pretending! You fake bastard!”

“Well, Hello, Sweetheart!” Says the old black man in a sing song voice.

“Wow....He's on drugs...” My inner voice laughs, but I smile at him. “Hello back at ya'” My outside voice says.

“What a wonderful day. Can you believe this weather! Good things are going to happen!” He explains.

“Yup...drugs...definitely....definably.” I laugh out loud at my inner voice and retort with “Let's enjoy it while we can. I hear it's gonna start raining again this weekend.”

“Oh I'm enjoying everything even the rain. I know that it is the Good Jesus Christ nourishing us all here below his greatness.” He says all the while using that typical black-man-preacher voice.

“Oh Gods....drugs, Alzheimers, AND Jesus Freak....this guy's fucked...” I'm smiling now at my inner voice “Ah. Yes you are correct we must learn to dance in the rain instead of waiting for it to pass.”

He looks at me in a surprised look and adamantly agrees “you are right!” Just like that he jumps subject. “You are the type of person people gravitate towards. Your smile keeps them smiling. It is contagious as well as your laugh.”

“....Damned, I was wrong, he just fucking nuts...” I replace the gas handle into the pump and screw on my gas cap. “Why yes you are very right.” I reply with a smart-ass smile to go with the smart-ass answer. “You have an absolutely wonderful day.” I tell him.

“Oh I will. You have a great day too and I won't tell anyone.” He says with a smile.

I turn to look at him with an intrigued look. “Won't tell what?”

“That you're a princess.”

With a snort, I smile, wave and drive off. “damned crazies come out with the abnormally good weather and the full moon. Damn, I can't wait until it starts to rain...then maybe people will get back to normal....”

Cages we create

You are only as good as you think you are. If you will it, and act it, it will become. If it doesn't become, you need to revisit your want and insure that you really want it, or that it is best for you. Results vary upon two things 1) the self confidence you ensue and 2) the belief of an outcome.

Self confidence will make more things happen than you can imagine. In that certain mind frame you create a projection of a self image....a projection of a certain energy. Belief in your own worth, after all, is a powerful tool for getting where you want to go in life - it feeds your sense of optimism, attracts others, and gives you the courage to deal with the cards life hands you.

There are self defeating thought patterns that need to be analyzed to ensure they are avoided.

• All Or Nothing Thinking. “I am a total failure when my performance is not perfect.”
• Seeing Only Dark Clouds. Disaster lurks around every corner and comes to be expected. For example, a single negative detail, piece of criticism, or passing comment darkens all reality. “I got a C on one chem test, now I’ll never get into medical school.”
• Magnification Of Negative/Minimization Of Positive. Good things don’t count nearly as much as bad ones. “I know I won five chess games in a row, but losing this one makes me feel terrible about myself.”
• Uncritical Acceptance Of Emotions As Truth. “I feel ugly so it must be true.”
• Overemphasis On “Should” Statements. “Should” statements are often perfectionistic and reflective of others’ expectations rather than expressive of your own wants and desires. “Everyone should have a career plan when they come to college. I don’t so there must be something wrong with me.”
• Labeling. Labeling is a simplistic process and often conveys a sense of blame. “I am a loser and it’s my fault.”
• Difficulty Accepting Compliments. “You like this outfit? I think it makes me look fat.”

I myself have problems with two of these. I have a tendency to magnify negatives/minimize positives. I also have issues accepting compliments (this goes hand in hand with the minimizing the positive). Upon reflexion I see that because of my type C personality, it is natural for me to get involved with the details. Therefore it is typical for me to emotionally over play a mistake of mine even if it is the most minor of details. Also I see that the difficulty accepting compliments is not but pride and the easier of the two to be conquered. The compliment itself puffs the pride and it is the resulting remarks that seek an expansion of said compliment. Everyone likes to hear how good they are, but to thrive on it diminishes any positive that comes from a compliment. This too can be hurtful to the one giving the compliment. They will feel like they are not appreciated either – they were trying to be nice, but you wouldn't acknowledge that.

This brings me to belief in an outcome. Ever heard the story of the four-minute mile? For years people believed that it is impossible for a human being to run a mile in less than four minutes until Roger Banister proved it wrong in 1954. Within one year, 37 runners broke the belief barrier. And the year after that, 300 other runners did the same thing. Currently the world record is held by Morocco's Hicham El Guerrouj at 3:43.13. How about the placebo effect? In recent decades reports have confirmed the efficacy of various sham treatments in nearly all areas of medicine. Placebos have helped alleviate pain, depression, anxiety, Parkinson’s disease, inflammatory disorders and even cancer.  Placebo effects can arise not only from a conscious belief in a drug but also from subconscious associations between recovery and the experience of being treated.  Belief makes it happen -- or not.  No belief is right or wrong. It is either empowering or limiting.