Cages we create

You are only as good as you think you are. If you will it, and act it, it will become. If it doesn't become, you need to revisit your want and insure that you really want it, or that it is best for you. Results vary upon two things 1) the self confidence you ensue and 2) the belief of an outcome.

Self confidence will make more things happen than you can imagine. In that certain mind frame you create a projection of a self image....a projection of a certain energy. Belief in your own worth, after all, is a powerful tool for getting where you want to go in life - it feeds your sense of optimism, attracts others, and gives you the courage to deal with the cards life hands you.

There are self defeating thought patterns that need to be analyzed to ensure they are avoided.

• All Or Nothing Thinking. “I am a total failure when my performance is not perfect.”
• Seeing Only Dark Clouds. Disaster lurks around every corner and comes to be expected. For example, a single negative detail, piece of criticism, or passing comment darkens all reality. “I got a C on one chem test, now I’ll never get into medical school.”
• Magnification Of Negative/Minimization Of Positive. Good things don’t count nearly as much as bad ones. “I know I won five chess games in a row, but losing this one makes me feel terrible about myself.”
• Uncritical Acceptance Of Emotions As Truth. “I feel ugly so it must be true.”
• Overemphasis On “Should” Statements. “Should” statements are often perfectionistic and reflective of others’ expectations rather than expressive of your own wants and desires. “Everyone should have a career plan when they come to college. I don’t so there must be something wrong with me.”
• Labeling. Labeling is a simplistic process and often conveys a sense of blame. “I am a loser and it’s my fault.”
• Difficulty Accepting Compliments. “You like this outfit? I think it makes me look fat.”

I myself have problems with two of these. I have a tendency to magnify negatives/minimize positives. I also have issues accepting compliments (this goes hand in hand with the minimizing the positive). Upon reflexion I see that because of my type C personality, it is natural for me to get involved with the details. Therefore it is typical for me to emotionally over play a mistake of mine even if it is the most minor of details. Also I see that the difficulty accepting compliments is not but pride and the easier of the two to be conquered. The compliment itself puffs the pride and it is the resulting remarks that seek an expansion of said compliment. Everyone likes to hear how good they are, but to thrive on it diminishes any positive that comes from a compliment. This too can be hurtful to the one giving the compliment. They will feel like they are not appreciated either – they were trying to be nice, but you wouldn't acknowledge that.

This brings me to belief in an outcome. Ever heard the story of the four-minute mile? For years people believed that it is impossible for a human being to run a mile in less than four minutes until Roger Banister proved it wrong in 1954. Within one year, 37 runners broke the belief barrier. And the year after that, 300 other runners did the same thing. Currently the world record is held by Morocco's Hicham El Guerrouj at 3:43.13. How about the placebo effect? In recent decades reports have confirmed the efficacy of various sham treatments in nearly all areas of medicine. Placebos have helped alleviate pain, depression, anxiety, Parkinson’s disease, inflammatory disorders and even cancer.  Placebo effects can arise not only from a conscious belief in a drug but also from subconscious associations between recovery and the experience of being treated.  Belief makes it happen -- or not.  No belief is right or wrong. It is either empowering or limiting.